Of evolution and me

I seem to be changing. Something is happening inside of me. It's like, the things I considered important to me, things I gave my priority, things I would die for suddenly seem so trivial. And what's more? The feeling that I have control over my thoughts and wishes gives me a calmness I've not seen in years.
I've learned that most people are in effect insecure about their ambitions, their deeds, their loves, their future. And many people are willing to go ahead and make their moves to get rid of insecurity. A lot of them won't admit it though to others I mean, and sometimes even to themselves, I don't know why. Some even pretend behind a mask of humor, a stern face, silence, change of topic. But they are, and as long as you know that, point made. But for the most part it pays to just concentrate on what you're doing, mind your own business and work hard and enjoy it.
And I guess I am learning where my priorities are, and that I have to place a premium on my skills, and realize that there is no such thing as a favor. Doing things because you like someone maybe good. But beyond a point, you get taken for granted. And you should emphasize that you will give it your best.. but a price. There is a price to be paid for everything and so too for your skills.
It kind of makes me proud that I have something I can give... something others want. And I guess I am going to have to exercise caution from now on. Respect myself. And after going out on this trip to China, where I met so many people, I have realized that this IIT community and all the stuff that goes along with it is really a very very small world. We are so cocooned in our shells here and there is this whole world that needs to be conquered. To do that, you need to back yourself regardless of what others think of you and be not afraid to demand payment for your services or ask for what is rightfully yours.
On the plane back I saw a movie and a quote I remember is "If you want something real bad you have to be willing to fight for it and fight for it hard". I guess I need to find that thing I want bad and really work for it. Therein lies my salvation, therein lies my triumph, but its certainly not whats going around me in this small world.
>>Berhael