Sunday, December 31, 2006

Of Years and ends

Well the year has finally come to an end.. What can i say, its been a very tumultuous time period indeed. I started out with a totally different set of friends and now i end up with a altogether new ones (old favorites still count). I've had more than my share of disappointments and very few spectacular moments, but all in all, I'm happy that i've gone through this year.



You see, this year has been one where I've really grown up, thoughts have changed, ideologies have started to form, viewpoints have been made and all in all a character is slowly carving out. I've slowly started getting a sense of self-belief and the soft skin is giving away to some hard shell.



I started this year out as a complaining, person, with total lack of self-belief and always dependent on others to reaffirm who I was, requiring emotional strength at the slightest drop of a pin, and having breakdowns at a frequency higher than the fake laughs in FRIENDS. I guess it was due to the company I was keeping then and the fact that I used to keep putting the blame on myself and always try to bandage the situation by absorbing all the hate, rather than confronting anyone head-on.



A few lessons I've learned (partly for my reference in case I forget them)

No one can tell you who you are, you are who you think yourself to be. In short, if you think you are an insignificant speck of humanity, then you most probably would turn out so. You could also think of all your strong points and say, ok I have my faults, but I am good at these things to, lets try and develop these things, and iron out the ones that hold me back, lets try re-inventing myself and always KEEP TRYING. Self-belief is very important, if you don't believe in yourself and back yourself up, man, you're gonna have a tough time convincing others.



Never get bogged down by failure, Colonel Sanders, the founder of Kentucky fried Chicken was rejected 1009 times over a period of two years (during which he was unemployed at age 65) for his chicken recipe. If he had given up, well, we would have lost a lot. Edison tried a hundred different times, each time different before he came up with the light bulb, so many others did the same thing, so it makes no sense to try once, and say you are bad, try once, see where you went wrong, improve, try again, repeat, and pretty soon, you'll see that you will be way ahead of where you started. And what the hell, let others laugh at you, make fun of you, jibe at you, the point is you are doing something you believe in.



Forget about what about what other people thing about you. Again, as long as you are doing something that you like, something you can lose yourself in, and something that is hopefully legal, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Others may spark rumors, blame your success on luck, say you are useless when you fail, but no one controls your future but you.



I'd rather be friends with a guy who fags and boozes, but helps his friends out when they are in need, than a person who is the proverbial ideal student and scores grades, but doesn't as much as lift a finger to help others.



It really doesn't pay to talk about others behind their back. Get a life, do some work.



Beyond a point, it doesn't really pay to worry about others. Sure you've got a friend who might be down, you can at best be there for him/her and if it goes too much, try and helping them out as any good friend should and would, but importantly, finally its up to them to change their thoughts and come back.



Some people are really not worth your time. In fact, anyone who doesn't respect you as an individual for who you are, keeps putting you down or treats you inferior, is not worth your time, just show them the finger.



And yes, make allowances for others moods and crankiness, no one is perfect and everyone has their own problems to worry about. Try and help them about by being sensitive to their situation, need not overtly show care, but just this little step.



Good friends are very hard to come by, this is one question I've still not answered, who is a good friend, I guess you just know these things. I've got a small set of good friends and I'm not leaving them for squat!



Never abuse someone, that's wrong. But due to a bad situation if you do, apologize.



Never do anything in anger or haste. That includes talking out a situation or dealing with an issue. And never bottle up emotions, someday, it'll come out and boy it won't look good and the person at the other end surely won't deserve it.



Set goals and work towards them, thats a lot easier than just hanging around and going along without an aim, imagine a destination and see step by step what you need to do and work towards it. Any goal.



This is an age to study, so get up and learn as much as you can, it could be DSP or Cultural fest organizational work or Inter IIT sportsfests, learn man, you'll never get this time again.



In most cases, its better to be honest in your opinions and motives. But there is also something called tact. As Gandhiji said, an truthful person should also be a careful person.



AND MOST IMPORTANT - YOU ARE ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS AND YOUR RESPONSES, NOT THE RESULTS OF THEM. SO QUIT WORRYING ABOUT THOSE.





Yes, these and many more, I hope some of them are good ones, and well I hope I keep improving in the years ahead. Bottom line is be yourself and try and keep improving and challenging, don't ever lose heart and give an honest effort. Thats all that counts. I am pretty sure that I haven't stuck to all of these in the last year but I hope that I can try and incorporate everything. Lets hope something good comes out of that.



Keep smiling...





Happy New Year to all.



Berhael






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